All The [Trek] 63 – “The Child”

We’re back this week with your regularly scheduled All The Trek, and The Next Generation Season 2 premier kicks off the wacky hijinks with a VENGEANCE.

Episode 27: “The Child”

Nov 21, 1988

There’s really no way to preamble this: Troi is pregnant. And the father is some sort of sparkle.

The 1:00 AM text message that we all dread.

The 1:00 AM text message that we all dread.

Of course, Troi has no idea she’s the chosen paramour of some sort of energy being because the sparkle sneaks into her abdomen IN TROI’S SLEEP. She, meets the new chief medical officer Dr. Pulaski and is like, “Hey can you help me with this inexplicable pregnancy thing I woke up to?”

"I AM STRANGELY UNCONCERNED."

“I AM STRANGELY UNCONCERNED.”

A brief debate ensues where a bunch of Starfleet Commander Bros get together and start talking about Troi’s sex life and the best way to eliminate the fetus. Hmmm, for some reason this sounds familiar. Anyway, Troi decides to birth a baby…even while receiving this totally unjustified look of hurt from a former lover who really needs to get over himself.

That is a lovely beard. Now get over yourself.

That is a lovely beard. Now get over yourself.

What ensues is essentially a drawn-out montage of Troi moving through pregnancy and childbirth faster than nature would allow. Troi’s baby becoming a toddler and then a child within a matter of days. Troi’s child ultimately deciding to die in order to save the Enterprise because it’s made of energy or something. The director manages to make the whole episode very mundane yet creepy. People just accept this bizzaro little stowaway and mourn his death when he decides to return back to his real form.

4

This is the being that snuck into a woman’s body against her will. But I guess that doesn’t matter if it pretends to be a child.

The energy thing turns into a sparkle again and everyone pretends that this is just fine.

Overall Rating: (2/5)

Overall - 2 out of 5

The whole concept of this episode is executed poorly. There’s the commentary on women having a right to make decisions about their own bodies, which they do a fairly good job of…but in the aftermath of a woman’s body being violated there varying degrees of people acting like the intrusion isn’t a huge deal. Are virgin births just a thing in space? The person who register the most shock is her ex, so who even knows what his motivations for outrage are.

In this episode we also see the writers desperately trying to cover up the replacement of Dr. Crusher while keeping Wesley in the series. Wesley has some great moments with Guinan. Dr. Pulaski spends her free time being a dick to Data while doing her best to make him feel like a lesser being. Which means this season we might have a new favorite character to hate!

You absolute shit.

You absolute shit.