All The [Trek] – Bri’s Lowest Rated

As the poets say: every rose has its thorn. In the case of Star Trek there are eleven thorns. If you wish to spre yourself the anguish of watching the unwatchable, we have you covered. Here are the absolute worst episodes of Star Trek as determined by our ratings from All The [Trek].

The worst of the worst

Overall - 0 out of 5

Episode # 75: “The Way to Eden” (0/5)

This whole episode is Star Trek’s answer to the hippie counter-culture movement, an answer no one asked for. There are more overwrought songs than you can shake a phaser at. The cult-like hippies are completely unsympathetic. The impotence of the Enterprise crew when faced with a bunch of idiots is infuriating.

This episode is a pandering pile of rotting flower crowns. Don’t waste your time. Spoiler alert: The hippies were WRONG

thewaytoedenhd0866

Episode # 67: “The Empath” (0/5)

I’ve never blacked out from drinking, but after watching this episode I’m pretty sure I know what it feels like. This episode was so boring that it gave me temporary amnesia. The whole thing looks like it was filmed in a black-box theatre with leftover props from other episodes. Bones arbitrarily names a voiceless woman Gem because her dress is sparkly and from there my mind goes blank.

If you want to watch absolutely nothing happen for 45 minutes, this is the episode for you.

theempathhd0169

The worst

All-The-Trek-overall-rating

Episode # 79: “Turnabout Intruder” (1/5)

This is the single most insulting episode of Star Trek that I have ever watched. Penis envy, scorned-woman syndrome, blatant sexism. This is the final episode of the series, and it manages to completely waste William Shatner as an actor and alienate half of its viewers. The one good thing it did was help me realize there have been zero female Starfleet captains.

Episode # 72: “That Which Survives” (1/5)

This episode shouldn’t have survived the cutting room floor. A computer ghost kills everyone. This is approximately the billionth time Star Trek used the unsupervised computer storyline. Spoiler: it always ends with the computer being destroyed.

Episode # 68: “Elaan of Troyius” (1/5)

More like Elaan of Bore-ius. Elaan screams, Kirk vaguely demurs. Elaan attempts several murders, Kirk lectures her. Watch this episode if you want to see an unamusing retelling of Taming of the Shrew.

Episode # 62: “Day of the Dove” (1/5)

Honestly: early Klingons make me uncomfortable, and there are a TON of them in this episode.. Everyone is in bronzer-brownface, everyone is yelling, and everything is boring.

Episode # 58: “The Paradise Syndrome” (1/5)

More brownface! This time we get a racially insensitive mash-up of Native American stereotypes. One reason to watch this episode: for the first time ever we get a CONFIRMED Kirk-related pregnancy.

Screen Shot 2014-11-09 at 14.00.58

Episode # 44: “The Deadly Years” (1/5)

This is a deeply insightful, high-stakes episode about our fears of growing old. Just kidding, it’s predictable and boiler-plate.

Episode # 36: “Catspaw” (1/5)

This is a pretty bad episode, but honestly: I would still recommend watching it. There’s a sassy cat and warlocks. If you like campy, you’ll like this.

catspawhd0320

Episode # 32: “The Changeling” (1/5)

More unsupervised sentient computers acting crazy. The only entertaining part of this episode is when Kirk basically White Fangs a space probe with logic.

Episode # 27: “The Alternative Factor” (1/5)

This episode commits the unforgivable sins of losing my attention and having no payoff.

Check out Bri’s Top Rated Episodes

Check all of the episodes of All The [Trek].